discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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