Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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