So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
