I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize