I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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