my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
