You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
