i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
