So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
