Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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