I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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