not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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