If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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