Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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