just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
