bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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