so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
