Whod you bang
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
