she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize