Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
