turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
