I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
