i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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