Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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