and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well you can't waste a boner
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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