Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
