we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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