Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He shit in the fireplace
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