the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
