Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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