so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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