i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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