I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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