If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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