If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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