im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
