I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
