I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize