I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
