If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
