we're blogging at a bar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize