Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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