the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
