I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
