I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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