Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think people are normalizing furries
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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