There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Text me some of your sweat
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
