the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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