I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
