i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You're like the curious george of whores
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
