The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
