is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
