turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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