Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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