I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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