But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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