You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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