My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize