Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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