Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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