Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
