Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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