apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
