when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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