Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
