I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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