He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
