Cold hands, warm shart.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
