So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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